Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Kids Mock Needy Classmate for Cheap Halloween Costume until Principal Shows up Wearing the Same — Story of the Day
A poor little boy is in tears after being teased by his classmates for the cheap Halloween costume his father made until the school principal shows up wearing the same.
Levi loved his small house and his parents, Carol and Darren. They weren’t rich, but they were there for one another and him, which he admired. But one afternoon, after returning home from school, Levi was upset with his parents.
How could he not be upset? It was Halloween, the trick-or-treating season, and there was a fancy dress competition at his school, but Levi’s parents didn’t have enough money to get him a new costume.
His classmates would all be dressed as Superman, Batman, or one of the Avengers, but he would have to make do with his old costume!
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Honey, please understand,” Carol said. “You know, daddy and I are trying our best to save this house. We need to put money aside for the mortgage payment.”
“Do you not love me, mom?” asked Levi sadly. “I don’t want the house. I want a new costume. But you love the house, not me!”
Carol sighed. “It’s not like that, honey. Mommy and daddy love you the most! We love you more than anything!”
“No!” he screamed in tears. “You are lying! You don’t love me! You love the house!”
With that, Levi disappeared to his room in tears and didn’t come out even for dinner. No parent wants to see their children sad; even Carol didn’t. Did she have a choice, though? Not really.
They were drowned in loans, and their small shop just brought them enough to get by. But seeing Levi sad bothered her, so she discussed it with Darren over dinner.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“He’s sad, hun,” she said. “Can we get him a new costume? If not, I’ll find a part-time job.”
“Don’t stress yourself out, honey,” Darren said. “You already have too much on your plate right now. I’ve got an idea…”
Two days later, while Levi was eating dinner alone in his room, still upset with his parents about the costume, Darren walked in with a huge parcel in his hands.
In this cruel world, we must stand up for one another and encourage the good.
“Can I come in, little boy?” he asked at the door.
“No, you can’t,” Levi said. He didn’t even look up from his plate.
“Even if I say I got you a new costume?” Darren asked. “I thought you’d be excited.”
“Did you?” Levi looked at the parcel in Darren’s hands and grinned. “Is that a new outfit? Really?”
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Yes, it is!” said Darren. “Now, can we have a little apology for mommy because you yelled at her two days ago? She was so worried about you.”
Levi was so excited to see his new costume that he bolted from his room and hugged Carol. “You and daddy love me! Not the house! I’m so sorry, mom! Let’s see my new costume together!” He held her hands and ran so fast that she almost tripped.
Then came the BIG moment. When Levi opened the parcel and saw the costume inside, he was in tears.
“Is that a robot?” he asked. “Dad, mom, I love robots!”
“We know you do, little boy,” said Carol. “Do you like it? Daddy made it for you!”
“I love it, mom and dad!” chirped Levi, wiping his tears. “I love it very much! And I love you so much! Thank you!”
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Levi was delighted. He loved the robot costume Darren had made out of cardboard and duct tape. Yes, it wasn’t expensive, but it had his heart and his dad’s efforts.
But on the day of the fancy dress event, Levi was crying because of the costume. He was sad because all his classmates were teasing him.
“Look, Levi is wearing a piece of colored cardboard!” a boy said and laughed. “He couldn’t even buy a new costume!”
“Don’t say that, Tony!” Levi protested, swallowing the tears in his eyes. “My dad worked hard on this! He went through videos on his computer, and he did so much hard work!”
“Oh, did he?” another kid said and chuckled with his friends. “Well, that outfit makes you look like a loser! I bet your dad’s a loser too!”
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
All the kids were so mean to Levi that he started crying. When his name was called, he didn’t show up on the stage and instead cried backstage.
Soon, the show was over, and everyone got to flaunt their costumes except Levi.
“I’m so sorry, dad…” He sniffed. “I didn’t even take part in the competition! I wasted your hard work! I’m sorry…”
Suddenly, Levi heard a loud gasp. He looked at the stage and couldn’t believe his eyes. The school principal, Mr. Frederick, was on the stage, and he was dressed as a robot! A red one, unlike Levi, who was wearing a blue costume.
“Where is my fellow robot? Levi, where are you, child?” he called out from the stage.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Getty Images
“Mr. Frederick?” Levi exclaimed as he stepped onto the stage. “You have the same costume as me!”
“Call me, Captain Red!” he said stiffly. “Agent Blue, you got a nice suit there! Mine took so much time to make!”
“You look cool, Captain Red!” Levi smiled, having forgotten his worries. “My dad made me this suit! I just love it!”
“That’s wonderful, Agent Blue! I’ll ask your dad to make me a suit next time! I saw some kids didn’t appreciate your costume, so I thought, why not show them they’re wrong? You know what? I love your outfit! You’re lucky! Your dad spends love on you, which is more important than just spending money on children…”
That day, Levi won the competition. His dress stood out from the bunch of Spidermans, Batmans, Avengers, and Disney princesses, and he had a huge smile on his face as he lifted the trophy with Captain Red!
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
At that point, the group of mean kids huddled around Levi and apologized. “WE ARE SORRY, LEVI!” they cried in unison. “Your costume was awesome!”
Levi was happy that the other kids loved his costume. He shared the big basket of candies he had won as a part of the prize with them and said, “It’s ok! I’m not sad anymore. Let’s not be mean to others, ok? Mommy and daddy say we should love each other!”
“That’s absolutely right, Levi,” Mr. Frederick said gently. “Always remember, kids, that we need to stand up for each other and encourage the good in this world. Never put others down! That’s what Captain Red and Agent Blue also believe in!” he added with a wink, and all the kids happily nodded as they devoured the Halloween candies.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Pexels
What can we learn from this story?
- In this cruel world, we must stand up for one another and encourage the good. Thanks to Mr. Frederick, the kids realized they were wrong to mock Levi and learned the importance of love over money.
- Spending love on children is more important than spending money. Levi’s parents couldn’t afford to buy him a new costume, but they loved him so much that they couldn’t bear the thought of him being unhappy. So they got him a lovely outfit that Darren created himself.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about an older woman who decides to feed a starving boy on Halloween and is shocked when the boy removes his mask—he’s her missing son’s carbon copy.
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