My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
This Iconic Star of ‘The Graduate’ Is 83—Her Transformation Will Shock You
Katharine Juliet Ross went from being an unknown actress to a famous star overnight. She is best known for playing Elaine in *The Graduate* alongside Dustin Hoffman. Over the years, many people called her a Hollywood bombshell.
Ross has had a long and successful career in acting. However, her personal life has been quite different. She has been married five times. Luckily, her fifth marriage to the beloved actor Sam Elliott has turned out to be a happy one.
It’s been a while since Katharine Ross appeared on screen, but her life is about more than just acting. Even at 83, she is still a true beauty. Here’s everything you need to know about Katharine Ross and what she looks like today.
Katharine Ross took part in her school’s production of *The King and I* and decided she wanted to pursue acting seriously. However, after just one year, she dropped out of school. Instead, she applied to The Actors Workshop in San Francisco and moved into a small apartment above a grocery store.
### Katharine Ross – Early Life & Career
For three years, Ross worked hard to improve her acting skills. She eventually landed some small roles in television shows. Not only was she talented, but she also knew how to audition well.
“I was queen of the screen tests,” Ross told *Life Magazine* in 1968. “I made daily trips from San Francisco to Los Angeles and back in time for the Workshop’s curtain call. I played many different types of hit-and-run drivers: an innocent driver, a tough driver, and a wealthy, snobby teenage driver. On *Gunsmoke*, I played a sympathetic character with a clubfoot.”
While in college, Ross met her first husband, Joel Fabiani, and they married in 1960. He was the first of her five husbands, but more on that later.
The years after her marriage to Fabiani were important for Ross. She became known for her many roles in television Westerns, which suited her beauty perfectly.
However, even though it might sound like a dream to be cast in many shows, it wasn’t always easy for Katharine Ross. Like many young stars in the business, she faced exploitation and challenges. Simply put, it wasn’t all fun and games for young TV actors in the 1960s.
Katharine Ross shared a memory about auditioning for a film directed by Samuel Goldwyn Jr. called *The Young Lovers*. She was supposed to screen test with Peter Fonda, but he wasn’t available, so they brought in Chad Everett instead. He didn’t know the role was already filled, and he was giving it his all. Katharine didn’t have the heart to tell him. After several sessions with a hairdresser to get her look right, they ended up cutting all her hair off, and in the end, they cast someone else.
### Katharine Ross – Cast as Elaine in *The Graduate*
Ross reflected on the time, saying it was great because the old studio system was ending, and new styles of filmmaking were starting. Films with small budgets, like the one she auditioned for, were becoming popular. This shift eventually led to the indie film movement.
Katharine made her TV debut in an episode of *Sam Benedict* in 1962. Her first movie role was in *Shenandoah*, a Civil War film starring James Stewart, in 1965. The following year, she signed a deal with Universal Studios. While working on her first starring role in the film *Games*, director Mike Nichols noticed her talent.
He cast her in her most famous role: Elaine in *The Graduate*, alongside Dustin Hoffman.
“Dustin Hoffman was a New York stage actor. He looked like he had just rolled out from under a rock; he was so pale. He just wanted to get back to his off-Broadway play. Even though we eventually became friends, my first thought was, ‘Oh my God — this guy is dressed in black and looks like a ghost,’” Ross remembered in an interview with the *Houston Chronicle*.
She also mentioned that Gene Hackman, who was Dustin’s roommate at the time, was supposed to play her father but dropped out for some reason.
*The Graduate* became a classic, and Katharine became a star overnight. She was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress and received a Golden Globe nomination for New Star of the Year.
In 2017, Katharine Ross and Sam Elliott starred together in a movie called *The Hero*. In this film, Elliott played an aging Western film star, and Ross played his ex-wife. While the movie doesn’t reflect their real lives, it allows the couple to try new things together.
“I think we just like making movies, and having that creative experience together is the best,” Elliott told the *Los Angeles Times* in 2016.
“It’s just fun. It’s a whole different kind of energy to go home with someone you’re working with rather than go home to someone who isn’t working. It’s a totally positive experience,” he added.
Ross and Elliott split their time between their homes in California and Oregon. Earlier this year, they attended the Screen Actors Guild Awards together. Katharine has not acted in any films or television shows for several years.
However, she has become a successful author and has published several children’s novels.
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