A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Newlyweds Killed Less Than 48 Hours After Their Wedding
According to the Knoxville Police, the fatal accident took place on Sunday morning around 3 a.m. The trio was traveling on the Weisgarber exit ramp along Interstate 40 when their Dodge pickup truck veered off the road and collided with a guardrail. After exiting their vehicle, a Chevy pickup struck both their Dodge and them, leading to the heartbreaking loss of all three individuals at the scene. The driver of the Chevy sustained non-life-threatening injuries and was taken to the hospital for treatment.
For Jessiah Plemons and Lily Rose, their love story was just beginning, and they were living their best lives. Lily, described as having a bubbly and carefree personality, brought joy to everyone she encountered. Her cousin, August McClelland, fondly remembers her as someone who loved having fun, often creating TikTok videos with friends and family.Lily was just the life of our family. She would just brighten up the room. Her laughter would fill the room,” shared Selena McClelland, Lily’s aunt.
Jessiah was passionate about music, and his love for it was evident in his actions. He introduced Lily to her first concert and gifted her with her very first guitar. While he learned to play the drums, Lily learned to strum the guitar, creating a harmonious bond between them.Despite battling addiction, Jessiah had turned his life around and was dedicated to helping others overcome similar challenges. He often sponsored individuals struggling with addiction, shared his experiences at local jails, and made a difference in countless lives. His mother, Michelle Plemon, remembered him as a caring soul who always made sure everyone else was okay.
Additionally, Jessiah extended his love and support to his older sister’s two young children, providing them with a loving home to prevent them from entering the Department of Children’s Services’ care.
Lily Rose was a devoted mother to her own children, a son and a daughter, and cherished every moment of motherhood. Together, Jessiah and Lily were planning to blend their families into one of six.They eloped in secret, and their families had no idea about the wedding. Jessiah had asked his sister Milea Effler to watch the children on Friday, but the reason remained a mystery. Tragically, Effler discovered their secret wedding through social media and, shortly thereafter, received the devastating news of the accident.
This accident has left a community grappling with profound loss, grieving the lives of these young individuals who were filled with hope and dreams for the future.They eloped in secret, and their families had no idea about the wedding. Jessiah had asked his sister Milea Effler to watch the children on Friday, but the reason remained a mystery. Tragically, Effler discovered their secret wedding through social media and, shortly thereafter, received the devastating news of the accident.
This accident has left a community grappling with profound loss, grieving the lives of these young individuals who were filled with hope and dreams for the future.
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