My husband and I were meant to be a team when we welcomed our first child, but he turned on me. Recently, I experienced one of the most embarrassing and eye-opening moments of my life. Let me backtrack a bit. My husband, Jake, 29, and I welcomed our beautiful daughter, Tilly, three weeks ago.
Whenever I ask Tilly’s father for help, he says, “Let me relax; my paternity leave is so short.” I’ve struggled alone with sleepless nights, and things went too far last Saturday during a family gathering. As the party progressed, Jake was busy telling everyone, “I needed this paternity leave because I couldn’t imagine how much more exhausted I would have been working AND taking care of the baby.”
Exhausted, I fainted right there in the middle of the party. I awoke to concerned family members and Jake’s frown. He later exploded at home, annoyed that I embarrassed him, accusing me of making him “look bad!”
Just as I was about to leave for my mom’s place, my in-laws arrived with a professional nanny they had hired. “She’s here to help with the baby and to teach Jake about caring for her,” my MIL explained. They also insisted I go on a spa retreat for a week.
Overwhelmed by their kindness, I immediately agreed. The week was blissful and helped me recover. Back home, the changes were remarkable! The nanny had put Jake through a rigorous “baby boot camp.” He learned to change diapers, cook baby meals, soothe a crying baby, and manage a sleep schedule. Jake greeted me with a heartfelt apology, having sold his vintage guitars to pay for the nanny and my retreat, showing his commitment to our family.
Wife receives a divorce letter from husband, her reply is brilliant
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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