Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My Husband’s Ex-Wife Demanded I Pay The Bills After His Death – She Regretted That I Fulfilled Her Whims
When my husband passed away, I thought grief would be my hardest battle. I was wrong. His ex-wife, Camila, turned my loss into her opportunity, DEMANDING I PAY ALL HER BILLS. Her relentless greed drained me, but I never imagined it would lead to her BIGGEST REGRET one day.
Grief doesn’t come in neat little packages. It’s messy, raw, and relentless. When Joseph — my husband, partner, and best friend — passed away two weeks before Christmas, it felt like the world had been ripped from under me. I had Nathan, our 15-year-old son, to think about. But most days, even breathing felt impossible.
A grieving woman holding a man’s framed photo | Source: Midjourney
Joseph was the kind of man who brought light to every room. He loved fiercely and gave generously, even to people who didn’t deserve it… like his ex-wife, Camila. They had one son together, Marcus, but Camila had three other children from different relationships.
Joseph, being the man he was, made sure to treat all four kids like his own. Birthdays, holidays, school events — he was always there, always giving, and caring.
The day after the funeral, I got an email from Camila. At first, I thought it might be condolences, but of course, that would’ve been too much to expect. Instead, it was a CHRISTMAS LIST. She wanted gifts for her kids, claiming, “It’s what Joseph would’ve wanted.”
A woman holding a cellphone | Source: Midjourney
When my phone rang moments later, I knew it was her. Her voice dripped with a false sympathy that made my skin crawl.
“Wendy, darling,” Camila’s tone was saccharine sweet, “I hope you’re not overwhelmed by that list. Joseph always made sure my kids were taken care of during Christmas.”
I gripped the phone tighter, my knuckles turning white. “Camila, I’m barely holding myself together right now.”
She let out a calculated laugh. “Well, it’s not the children’s fault! They shouldn’t suffer just because Joseph isn’t here to help anymore.”
“Camila, you don’t understand. He just passed and—” I desperately voiced, but she cut me off.
“Oh, come now. Joseph would want you to honor his memory by continuing his traditions. Those children are expecting their gifts. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you?”
A woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
The manipulation was transparent, yet it cut deep. “These are your children, too,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
“They’re JOSEPH’S children,” she corrected sharply. “Well, Marcus is. But the others… they’ve grown to love him so much. And you know how much he loved them all. I’m sure you want to prove what a good stepmother you can be. After all, he married you knowing I would always be in the picture.”
I should’ve ignored her. I should’ve said no. But then I thought about the kids. It wasn’t their fault. So, I swallowed my pride, and through tears, I went shopping for their gifts, together with my son.
Christmas came and went in a blur of grief and forced smiles. But Camila wasn’t done. Her demands became a relentless cascade, each request more audacious than the last.
A cheerful woman with a pile of gift boxes | Source: Midjourney
By February, it was piano lessons. When she called, her voice was a calculated blend of sweetness and authority. “Wendy, darling, Joseph always wanted Marcus to have music lessons. You wouldn’t want to disappoint his son, would you?”
I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of her manipulation. “Camila, I’m struggling to keep things together—”
“The kids shouldn’t have to miss out,” she interrupted. “Think about what Joseph would want.”
By Easter, it was summer camp fees. Her call came with surgical precision. “These experiences are so important for children’s development. Joseph always believed in giving kids opportunities.”
“I can’t keep doing this,” I whispered.
“Oh, Wendy,” she laughed, “you know Joseph would be heartbroken if his children missed out because of financial constraints.”
A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Then came the moment that broke something inside me. One day, she called, her voice dripping with honey. “Wendy, I hate to ask, but my back has been killing me. The doctor says surgery could help me be a better mom. The medical bills are astronomical, and with Joseph gone…”
Her pause was deliberate, weighted with expectation.
Of course, I paid. What else could I do? Nathan watched me, his eyes filled with pity and frustration. “Mom, why do you keep giving her money?” he’d asked once. I had no answer.
But weeks later, I stumbled across her Facebook post:
“Lipo & a tummy tuck done! Feeling FABULOUS! 
“
I gripped my phone so hard, I thought it might shatter. She’d used my money for PLASTIC SURGERY. Not a medical procedure, not something for her children, but pure vanity. I felt sick, the betrayal cutting deeper than any knife.
A shocked woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Nathan walked in and saw my expression. “Mom?” he asked cautiously. “What’s wrong?”
And in that moment, something inside me began to shift. A resolve. An anger.
Still, I didn’t stop helping Camila. There were kids involved — kids who came to me with scraped knees and teenage heartbreaks. Kids who hugged me tight and called me “Aunt Wendy.” They weren’t responsible for their mother’s schemes.
But then, a new demand landed in my inbox shortly after: a trip to Paris for her and the kids. The email was a masterpiece of manipulation. She sweetly reminded me, “Joseph always believed in family vacations. He wouldn’t have let the kids go without one.”
Close-up shot of a woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
I sat with that email for hours, my frustration boiling over. Nathan was battling leukemia at the time. Medical bills were drowning me, treatments were astronomical, and every single penny was a fight for survival.
The last thing I could afford was funding my husband’s ex’s extravagant getaway.
When I finally called her, my voice shook with anger and desperation. “Camila, I can’t do this anymore. I’m barely keeping my head above water as it is.”
Her laugh was cold and calculated. “Barely keeping your head above water? Oh, Wendy, you forget I know exactly how much life insurance Joseph left you. This is pocket change for you.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Pocket change?” I almost screamed. “I’m spending every cent on Nathan’s treatment. He’s fighting for his life!”
Her tone hardened immediately. “So, the kids should suffer because of your POOR PLANNING? Wow, Wendy, I expected better from you. Joseph would be so disappointed.”
The mention of Joseph’s name was a punch to my gut.
“You have no shame,” I whispered.
“I have four children to think about,” she retorted. “What would people say if they knew you — Joseph’s wife — refused to help his children?”
I hung up and tears of frustration burned my eyes.
An emotional woman lost in deep thought | Source: Midjourney
But as the days passed, the guilt gnawed at me. I could hear Joseph’s voice in my head, urging me to do what I could for the kids. His kindness, his generosity… they were weapons Camila knew how to wield perfectly.
Against my better judgment, I paid for the trip, hoping and PRAYING that this would be the last of her demands.
Of course, it wasn’t.
Nathan’s battle with leukemia was brutal. Chemo, hospital stays, and sleepless nights consumed every part of me. But even then, Camila’s relentless demands didn’t stop. She was like a vulture, circling, and waiting to pick at whatever remained of my willpower.
A sick boy in the hospital | Source: Midjourney
“Wendy, I need help with groceries,” she’d say, her voice dripping with false vulnerability.
“Wendy, the kids need new laptops for school,” another call would come.
“Wendy, our washing machine broke,” she’d whine, as if the world would end without my intervention.
Each call came with a new crisis, each one tugging at my frayed patience. The subtext was always clear: Joseph would have helped. Joseph always provided. Joseph would be disappointed in me.
A phone on a table flashing an incoming call | Source: Midjourney
I kept helping, telling myself it was for the kids. But with each request, a part of me died. A part of me resented the memory of Joseph’s infinite kindness that Camila so ruthlessly exploited.
And then, she pushed too far. “Wendy,” she said one day, her tone annoyingly casual, like she was asking for sugar, “we need help remodeling the kitchen. It’s falling apart.”
Something inside me snapped.
“Camila, I’m NOT funding your HGTV dreams. I can barely afford Nathan’s treatments!”
The silence that followed was electric.
She gasped, a performance of pure outrage. “I can’t believe how SELFISH you’ve become. Joseph would be ASHAMED.”
Those words. Always those words.
A furious woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Joseph is DEAD,” I said, the words feeling like broken glass in my mouth. “And you’ve been treating his memory like a credit card.”
Her gasp was theatrical. “How dare you—”
“No,” I interrupted, “how dare YOU? For years, you’ve manipulated me, guilt-tripped me, and drained every resource I have while my son fights for his life.”
She tried to interject, but I was done.
“I’m sorry, Camila,” I said coldly, each word precise and cutting. “I can’t help you anymore.” And I hung up.
She called back, left voicemails that grew increasingly desperate, and sent emails that ranged from manipulative to outright threatening. But I ignored her. Nathan needed me more than her fabricated crises.
A boy lying down in a hospital bed | Source: Midjourney
Several weeks passed. Thankfully, my son won his fight with leukemia, but Camila wasn’t so lucky. Her extravagant spending and piling debts finally caught up with her. Her new husband (an aspiring musician who contributed nothing to the household) left, creditors circled, and her life imploded.
She tried reaching out to me, sending long, teary emails about how hard things were. She even called, begging for help. But I didn’t respond.
Through it all, her kids drifted toward me. They saw the truth about their mother, and saw who had been there for them all along. They started calling me “Mom.” And while Camila’s world crumbled, mine grew stronger.
A frustrated woman yelling | Source: Midjourney
Ten years flew by. On Christmas Eve, I found myself in a hospital bed recovering from heart surgery. The kids — Nathan and all four of Camila’s — had promised to visit, but I didn’t expect much. They were busy with their own lives now.
Then my phone rang. It was Camila.
I hesitated but answered. “Hello?”
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” She shrieked.
“Excuse me?”
“You turned my children against me!”
“Camila, I don’t understand what you’re talking about…”
But then the door burst open, and her oldest son, Marcus, swiftly took the phone from my hand. His touch was gentle, but his eyes burned with a protective fury I’d never seen before.
A startled woman engaged in a phone call | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, you need to rest. We’ll talk to her later,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument as he ended the call. The way he said “her” made it clear he was distancing himself from any maternal connection to Camila.
Four of my “foster” kids and my Nathan crowded into my hospital room, their faces radiant with love and warmth. Marcus stepped forward first, setting down an elaborate bouquet of white roses that looked carefully chosen. The younger ones followed, their arms filled with colorful balloons that bobbed and danced with their movement.
“We wouldn’t miss this for the world, Mom,” Nathan said.
“Oh, my darlings!” I exclaimed, tears welling up in my eyes. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble!”
An emotional woman | Source: Midjourney
They surrounded my bed in a massive group hug, their collective embrace feeling like a shield of love and protection. The youngest, tears glistening in her eyes, whispered, “We’re family. We take care of each other.”
Marcus squeezed my hand. “Christmas isn’t Christmas without you. So we’re taking you home.”
The others nodded in unison.
That evening, they whisked me home. We sat around the fireplace, sharing stories and memories.
“What happened to your mother?” I asked cautiously. “She sounded so furious when she called.”
They exchanged glances before Marcus spoke up. “After you stopped supporting her, she tried to guilt us into giving her money. She even said, ‘You owe me. I raised you!’” He shook his head. “We stopped answering her calls.”
A frustrated young man | Source: Pexels
“She’s become desperate,” another added. “Calling old friends and distant relatives, trying to get money.”
“She tried to sue a cosmetic surgeon,” another chimed in, laughing. “But that didn’t go well.”
The youngest looked at me, her eyes deep with emotion. “We learned what real love looks like from you. Not from her.”
“She saw people as transactions,” Marcus added, squeezing my hand gently. “You showed us that love has no price tag.”
“She’s alone now,” another said softly. “But we’re here, Mom. We’re with you.”
A distressed teenage girl | Source: Pexels
I looked around the table, my heart brimming with joy and peace. Christmas isn’t about gifts or obligations. It’s about the family you build, and the people who choose to stay, love, and grow with you.
For the first time in years, I felt truly at peace. As for Camila, I really don’t care about her now. She can live with her regrets, but I hope that someday, she realizes the depth of the damage she’s done to herself by being greedy and manipulative.
An emotional, teary-eyed senior woman | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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