Two years ago, my wife walked out on me and our kids during the worst point in my life. After struggling and finally picking my family up again, I spotted her in a café, alone and in tears. What she said next completely blindsided me.
When Anna walked out of our apartment with nothing but a suitcase and a cold, “I can’t do this anymore,” I was left standing there holding our four-year-old twins, Max and Lily.
A man looks sad holding his 4-year-old twin in a cluttered apartment | Source: Midjourney
My dignity was shattered, but not as much as my heart. I didn’t even get a second glance from her. It was like a switch had flipped. One minute, we were a family, and the next, I was alone with two kids and a mountain of bills.
This had all happened because I’d lost my job, and we lived in one of the most expensive cities in the country. I’d been a software engineer at a tech company that promised big returns, but some shady things happened, and it went bankrupt before we knew it. I went from a six-figure salary to unemployment checks overnight.
A man stands on the street holding a box of office things after just being fired | Source: Midjourney
The day I told Anna the news, I saw the disappointment in her eyes. She was a marketing executive and one of the most put-together women I’d ever seen. Even after getting married, I never saw her hair out of place or a wrinkle on her clothes.
She even looked polished while giving birth to our children, like a real-life princess, and that’s what I used to love about her. But I never thought she’d leave during tough times.
That first year was pure hell. Between the crushing loneliness, the constant worry about money, and the exhaustion of juggling work and childcare, I felt like I was drowning.
A man looking tired while caring for his 4-year-old twins in a cluttered apartment | Source: Midjourney
I drove for ride-share companies at night and delivered groceries during the day. All the while, I was juggling childcare. Max and Lily were heartbroken and asked about their mother constantly.
I tried to explain as best as I could to four-year-olds that Mommy was gone for a while, but they didn’t seem to understand.
Luckily, my parents were nearby. They helped with the twins at night and whenever I needed them, but they couldn’t help financially. They were already retired and struggling with the rising cost of living.
An elderly couple playing with their 4-year-old twin grandchildren | Source: Midjourney
Max and Lily were my lifeline, though. Their little arms wrapping around me at the end of a long day, their tiny voices saying, “We love you, Daddy,” kept me going. I couldn’t let them down. They deserved at least one parent willing to lay the world at their feet.
I’m happy that the second year after Anna left was much different. I landed a freelance coding project, and the client was so impressed with my abilities that he offered me a full-time remote position with his cybersecurity firm.
A man smiles while coding on his computer late at night | Source: Midjourney
The pay wasn’t six figures, but it was solid. We moved to a cozier apartment, and I started caring for myself again. I hit the gym, cooked real meals, and created a routine for the kids. We weren’t just surviving anymore; we were thriving.
And then, exactly two years after Anna left, I saw her again.
I was at a café near our new place, catching up on work while Max and Lily were at preschool. The smell of roasted coffee beans filled the air, and the soft hum of conversations made it a good place to focus.
A man drinks coffee while working on his laptop at a coffee shop | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t expect to look up and see her.
She was sitting alone at a corner table, her head down, while tears streamed down her face. She didn’t look like the woman I remembered, the polished, confident marketing executive with designer clothes and perfect hair.
No, this woman looked worn. Her coat was faded, her hair dull, and the dark circles under her eyes told a story of sleepless nights.
A red-haired woman sits unkempt, sad, and tearful in a coffee shop | Source: Midjourney
For a moment, my heart clenched. This was the woman who abandoned us at our lowest.
She had left to make a better life for herself without a jobless husband and twins to take care of, right? That’s what I’d assume from her cold, short sentence back then.
We were burdens to her, and she wanted more.
A red-haired woman in a black dress stands angry in a cluttered apartment | Source: Midjourney
So, what happened? Why was she crying at a random trendy coffee shop? I knew I shouldn’t care. I should ignore her, finish my drink, and leave immediately. But she was, after all, the mother of my children.
Unlike her, I wasn’t heartless. I still seemed to care.
She must have sensed my stare because she looked up. Her eyes met mine, and her expression shifted from shock to shame.
I could’ve stayed in place, but my body moved before I had time to consider it. Leaving my cup and laptop on the table, I walked toward the woman who had broken our home.
A man stands surprised in a coffee shop | Source: Midjourney
“Anna,” I said, clearing my throat. “What happened?”
Her eyes darted around as if searching for an escape. But there was none. “David,” she whispered, fidgeting with her hands. “I… I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Clearly,” I said, pulling the chair across from her. “You left us. You walked out without any remorse. And now, two years later, I find you crying in a café? What’s going on?”
She looked down at the table, her fingers twisting until her knuckles turned white. “I made a mistake,” she finally said, loudly exhaling as if making a horrible and shameful confession.
A red-haired woman looks ashamed while looking down in a coffee shop | Source: Midjourney
I leaned back, crossing my arms. “A mistake? You think leaving your husband and kids was just a mistake?”
Her head shook as her eyes filled with fresh tears. “I know it’s not just a mistake. But I thought I… I thought I could do better on my own. It was all too much. The bills and not knowing how to survive. My money wasn’t enough for the life we’d led.”
“I know,” I nodded.
“I thought I could find a more fulfilling life, a better career… a better… I don’t know.”
“A better man?” I suggested.
A man stands in a coffee shop with his arms crossed looking serious | Source: Midjourney
Her head shook again. “No, no. I can’t explain it, but leaving you was so wrong. I lost my job almost immediately after. I survived on my savings; my parents sent me some money, but they cut me off after a few months. The people I thought were my friends disappeared when I needed them most.”
I stared as she began sobbing. My emotions were all over the place. I felt a small sense of vindication, as karma had acted almost immediately, but I also felt pity and hurt. We could have gone through this together and emerged much stronger if she had believed in me and our family.
A man sits in a coffee shop with his fingers crossed looking serious | Source: Midjourney
“I miss you,” she croaked, sniffling. “I want to come back.”
I let her words hang in the air. Because no matter how bad I felt for her, I knew why she said those words.
“You miss me now that you have nothing,” I calmly said. “Convenient timing, don’t you think?”
Anna reached across the table, her hand hovering near mine. “David, please. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’ll do anything to make it right. I’ve been living in cheap apartments, hopping from one temp job to another. I’ve had time to think. I realize now what I lost.”
A red-haired woman reaches her hand across a table in a coffee shop looking sad | Source: Midjourney
I pulled my hand back. “You didn’t think about Max and Lily, did you? Not once in two years. In fact, you haven’t even mentioned them since I sat down.”
The more I thought of it, the more disgusted I felt.
She flinched like I’d slapped her. “I thought about them too,” she whispered. “I just… I was ashamed. I didn’t know how to come back.”
I shook my head. “You made your choice, Anna. We’ve built a life without you. And it’s a good one. The kids are happy. I’m happy.”
A man sits in a coffee shop with his elbow on the table and his hand on his head looking upset | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll do anything,” she repeated desperately. “Please, David. Just give me a chance.”
I stood, turning my back to her. “No,” I said. “You made this decision. Despite what you’ve gone through, I see you haven’t reflected. You’re just worried about yourself. My kids need someone who’ll put them first.”
I returned to my table, snatched up my laptop, and left. The bell above the door sharply jingled as I pushed through it, but not before Anna’s sobs echoed through the quiet café.
A coffee shop doorway with an exit sign | Source: Midjourney
At dinner that evening, I marveled at how much Max and Lily meant to me. My son was telling a story about a worm he found at school, and my daughter proudly showed me a picture she’d drawn.
“Daddy, look! It’s us at the park,” Lily said, handing me the drawing.
I smiled. “It’s perfect, sweetheart.”
Anna had given this up and ended up with nothing.
A man with twin children laughing and smiling while eating dinner at the kitchen table | Source: Midjourney
But after tucking the kids to bed and going to my room, I considered the consequences of walking away from their mother. A part of me knew that having her back in their lives could be beneficial in the long run.
Maybe, if she reached out and asked about them in the future, I would let her see them. That’s only if I witness real change in her. For now, I had to protect them.
A man looks thoughtful in his bedroom at night | Source: Midjourney
You might think kids as young as mine don’t notice things, but they do. Yet, they are resilient as long as they know someone will always be there. I saw it in their laughter, in their easy affection. Therefore, our chapter with Anna was closed.
But life takes turns. I would focus on giving my children the secure, loving home they deserved and wait…
A red-haired woman walks alone down a street at night looking sad | Source: Midjourney
If you see a purple butterfly sticker near a newborn, you need to know what it means
Only weeks after Millie Smith and Lewis Cann learned they were having twin baby girls, they learned that only one would survive.
On April 30, after 30 weeks of a high-risk pregnancy, Smith delivered identical twins, Callie and Skye, the latter who lived only three hours.
Later in neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), Callie slept without her sister in the incubator, with her loving and grieving parents watching over her. In the unit with other babies, an overwhelmed mom of healthy newborn twins innocently told Smith that she was “so lucky” to not have two babies.
Crushed by the words, the new mom couldn’t find the words to explain her loss. Then, she realized that Skye’s legacy was to help other families who lose a child, and it came in the form of a purple butterfly.
In November 2015 Millie Smith and partner Lewis Cann found out they were having their first Child. Smith, who has twins in the family, said she had a “gut feeling” about having a duo and 10 weeks later, doctors confirmed she was expecting identical twin girls.
Less than two weeks after the excitement of knowing they would double the children in their home, the British couple were devastated to learn that one of their babies had a fatal condition and wouldn’t survive after birth.
“During the scan, the doctor didn’t say anything. I was very excited and loved seeing the little babies, but she was silent. Both Lewis and I immediately knew there must be a problem,” Smith said.
Doctors shared the news that one of the babies had anencephaly, which according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) affects about one in 4,600 babies across the U.S. It’s a serious birth defect where a baby is born without parts of the brain and skull, and “almost all babies born with anencephaly will die shortly after birth.”
Knowing that one baby would die soon after birth, and that there were risks involved for their other baby, the couple decided to move forward with the extremely high-risk pregnancy.
Over the next several months, Smith and Cann named their twins Skye and Callie. “We knew that Skye needed to have a name before she was born,” Smith said. “Knowing she would only survive for seconds or minutes, I wanted her to be named during that time.”
The meaning behind “Skye,” she explained “was somewhere we knew she would always be, that we could look up at the sky and remember our baby.”
When Smith went into labor after only 30 weeks on April 30, she needed an emergency C-section. To help navigate the loss, the couple had a “bereavement midwife” during the birth, and they were put I a special room the called the “Daisy Room,” where families can spend time with a baby before and after she/he passes.
“When the girls were born, they both cried. This was a huge moment, as we were told that Skye would not make a noise or move,” said Smith, who was thankful to have three hours with Skye before she died. “We were cuddling Skye when she passed away. This was the worst moment in our lives. I have never ever felt heartbreak like that before. But I am proud that she fought for so long to spend time with us.”
Born premature, Callie had to stay in NICU while she gained some strength and also in the unit were three other sets of twin.
“Most of the nurses were aware of what had happened, but as time passed, people stopped talking about Skye. After about four weeks, everyone acted as though nothing had happened, meaning the families around me had no idea about our situation,” Smith recalled.
One morning, a stressed mother whose twins were also in NICU, harmlessly said to Smith that she was “so lucky” to not have twins.
“None of the other parents knew what had happened or anything about Skye. The comment was completely innocent and more out of humor…They weren’t to know that I did at one point have two.” Smith continued, “But the comment nearly broke me. I ran out [of] the room in tears and they had no idea why. I didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened. A simple sticker would have avoided that entire situation.”
It was in that moment Smith realized she had to create something that would speak for parents who had just lost a baby, ensuring the misunderstanding never happens again.
She designed a poster for the NICU explaining both hospital personnel and visitors that any incubator with a purple butterfly on it means that one or more babies, in a set of multiples were lost.
“I chose butterflies, as I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, the color purple because it is suitable for both boys or girls,” said Smith.
The purple butterfly concept–now under the Skye High Foundation–has spread to hospitals in several countries around the world.
Callie is now a lively, happy seven-year-old, and twin’s memory lives in purple butterfly cards along with other initiatives to help families with babies like Skye all over the world. The purple butterflies now come in numerous forms, like ornaments, cards, blankets, stuffed animals and more.
“Ultimately I will never be able to stop this from happening but the more support groups we can set up and put things in place like the stickers the better it will be. It’s the hardest thing anyone has to deal with,” Smith said.
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