Iris was so delighted. Her daughter Eliza was all set to get married to the love of her life, Daniel. So Iris shuffled toward her future son-in-law to give him her late husband’s diamond cufflinks.
But Daniel was walking too fast, and Iris had to race her achy knees. She watched him approach Melissa, one of the bridesmaids, and whisper something to her.
Then, they both walked away from the venue toward the back of the restaurant. Curious, Iris tiptoed behind them, only to see them slipping into a bathroom together…
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Iris slightly opened the door, and her heart sank when she peered inside.
“I can’t wait anymore, babe,” Daniel tugged at Mellissa’s waist, pulling her closer.
“Not now, darling,” Melissa crooned. “If someone finds out, our plans will be ruined. Patience, babe…you just need to stay married for a little. Think of the big payday we’ll get when you divorce your boring wife. Millions of dollars worth…but now control yourself!”
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Iris leaned over and glimpsed at Daniel and Melissa on the bathroom mirror. They were locked in each others’ arms, kissing passionately.
“Not now…” Melissa muttered. “We have to get back.”
“Not until you promise to meet me at my house later,” Daniel said. “We carry on like we always have…after Eliza’s gone to work!”
Melissa giggled. Unable to see or take it anymore, Iris hurried away to warn her daughter.
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Iris hurried to the dining room, but Eliza was not there. Suddenly, the MC called for everyone’s attention.
“Before we proceed to the wedding hall, the bride has a special gift for the groom,” he announced.
Eliza appeared on the stage and took the mic from the MC.
“…I’ve waited for a long time to find a real love…and I want to dedicate this to him!”
As the band behind Eliza started playing the chords, she sang a melodious love song. A hush fell over the room as Eliza finished singing.
The guests applauded, and Daniel rushed onto the stage and hugged her. Iris knew it would crush her daughter’s heart when she learned the truth about Daniel’s scheming.
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The MC interrupted the bustling wedding scene. “And now… love birds, your first dance!”
Iris weaved through the crowd and approached her daughter. “Eliza, I have to tell you something…it’s about Daniel.”
“Is everything okay, Mom?”
“Sweetie, he is…Can we talk privately?”
“Daniel’s waiting for me. We’ll talk after the first dance, okay?”
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Melissa sidled around Iris and approached the bride. “Daniel’s waiting for you in the dance hall.”
Eliza was so gorgeous in her wedding dress as she followed Melissa to the door. Iris was shattered, and she did not have the courage to break her daughter’s heart on her big day.
So she watched in agony as the wedding proceeded. There was nothing she could do to bring Daniel and Melissa’s affair to light. There was only one way to expose him: Iris had to ensure Eliza caught him red-handed.
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Eliza and Daniel drove Iris to the airport the following Monday to catch an early flight back home. Iris was disgusted to watch Daniel acting so lovey-dovey with Eliza.
Iris hugged Eliza goodbye before heading to the boarding lounge. Around 15 minutes later, she called a cab and returned to Eliza’s house.
Iris knew Melissa and Daniel would meet after Eliza went to work, and she decided to catch them.
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When Iris arrived at Eliza’s house, she saw Melissa’s car parked in the driveway. She quickly called Eliza.
“Sweetie, my flight was canceled,” Iris told her daughter. “I hailed a taxi to your place…I’m feeling dizzy…can you meet me there?”
“Oh, God, Mom! I’m busy…but don’t worry. I’ll call Daniel and ask him, alright?”
“No, don’t call him. I want you to come here…please, it’s important.”
Eliza sighed. “Fine…I’m coming.”
Iris hung up and crept up to the window.
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She peered through the glass pane and saw nothing strange at first. Then, the door swung open as Daniel and Melissa entered the room, kissing each other.
He set her down, and the pair started making out on the couch.
Iris glanced at the street, but there was still no sign of Eliza. She peeked through the window and quickly looked away in disgust, seeing how things inside had heated up.
Iris stood by the curb, praying for her daughter to be there soon. Five minutes later, Eliza pulled up.
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“Mom, are you okay?” Eliza approached Iris.
“No, I’m not. Your husband and that Melissa. They’re in there…fooling around.”
“WHAT?” Eliza was shocked.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I overheard them on your wedding day…”
“You overheard what?”
“They are having an affair…and have planned to swindle you and take your money when Daniel leaves you,” Iris replied as Eliza froze.
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“Daniel and Melissa?” Eliza’s breath shuddered. “He’s always been nice to me…how did I not have a clue about this affair?”
“They’re in there right now…” Iris pointed to the door. “Why don’t you go see with your own eyes?”
Eliza nodded curtly and wiped her tears. She angrily marched to the front door, and Iris was right behind her.
They tiptoed to the living room. The sound of Daniel and Melissa giggling behind the couch echoed in the hallway.
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“What the hell’s going on here?” she yelled.
Iris rushed in but was caught off-guard by the sight before her shocked eyes. It didn’t make any sense.
Just mere minutes ago, when she looked through the window, Daniel and Melissa were engrossed in their intimate moment. But now, they were casually seated on the sofa like nothing had happened.
“Eliza? What do you mean?” Daniel replied. “Melissa and I were discussing work…Didn’t I tell you I’d be working from home this week?”
“You LIAR!” Iris pointed at Daniel. “I saw the both of you doing ‘things’ on that sofa…you must’ve seen us coming and gotten dressed.”
“Gotten dressed?” Melissa frowned. “Jesus…you think Daniel and I are having…an affair?”
“Just shut up,” Eliza snapped. “My mother saw you two in the bathroom on our wedding day…and now, in our house. You were so insistent on sharing our assets and money when we got married. And now I know why…Daniel, you married me for my money.’
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“That’s not true!” Daniel denied the allegation. “Being married means sharing everything. What’s mine is yours, Eliza. I’m sorry your mother thinks so cheap of me…but she’s mistaken. Melissa and I are friends and business partners. I thought you… trusted me.”
“I did, Daniel. But why would my Mom lie to me? I just…I just don’t understand.”
“Eliza, I love you…and I can prove it,” Daniel took Eliza’s hand.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bunch of keys.
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“See this?” He dropped the keys into Eliza’s palm. “I made the final payment for our new home yesterday. Melissa was here to help me with an idea to surprise you. But everything’s ruined now.”
“He’s lying, Eliza,” Iris insisted as she watched Eliza lift the keys with her trembling fingers.
But Eliza didn’t seem to hear. “You were going to surprise me?” she whispered.
“Yes! I wanted to drive you there in a blindfold…walk you onto the lawn…and show you our dream home. But I guess I’ll be staying there alone now. There’s no point in sharing my life with a woman who doesn’t trust me.”
Daniel snatched the keys from Eliza and stormed to their bedroom.
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“Wait, you can’t just leave me like this,” Eliza ran after Daniel. “I don’t doubt you…but I know Mom would never tell me something like this unless it’s true.”
Daniel stopped and turned around. “I don’t know what your Mom saw and heard. I’ve offered you proof. If you still don’t believe me, I don’t think this marriage can last.”
“I trust you…that’s why it hurts so much to think of you cheating on me. I love you, Daniel…”
“I love you too,” Daniel said. “I don’t understand what went wrong to make it easy for you to believe such awful things about me. If you truly believe that I’ve been unfaithful to you, tell me now. I’ll pack my things and leave you…forever.”
“I trust you! Please forgive me,” Eliza hugged Daniel as Iris couldn’t believe it.
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Iris’s heart raced in her chest. It was all too much for her. Her knees gave way as a dull pain spread through her chest. The last thing Iris heard was the piercing shrill of ambulance sirens.
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Iris was rushed to the hospital, where the doctors informed her she’d had a heart attack.
“You scared me, Mom…I’m glad you’re okay,” Eliza visited Iris and hugged her.
“I’ll feel a lot better if you tell me that you’ve kicked that fraudster and his mistress out.”
Eliza rolled her eyes. “Mom, please don’t talk about my husband like that. You’ve mistaken things about him…”
“Wake up, Eliza. He’s just using you. All that nonsense about buying a house was his way of guilt-tripping you into staying.”
“But it proves he loves me. Why would he want me to stay if he was only after my money?”
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“Why don’t you check your prenup, Eliza?” Iris snapped. “Good Lord, how do I make you understand that your husband is a gold-digger?”
“Mom, please stop this. Let’s not assume things and punish Daniel for something he’s never done.”
“Fine then,” Iris said. “If you don’t want to open your eyes and see the reality, then things are going to be different from now on.”
“What do you mean, Mom?”
Iris reached for her phone and dialed a number.
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“Hello, Mr. Simms…I’m calling you about my will,” Iris told her lawyer. “I want to make an urgent change. I’ve decided to leave all my wealth to charity. My daughter will not inherit a dime. And I want you to freeze her bank account. Yes…immediately. Thank you.”
“What?” Eliza stood shocked. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m sorry, Eliza, but you left me with no choice. I don’t want our family’s hard-earned money being palmed to a gold-digger using you.”
“Fine!” Eliza yelled. “If you’re cutting me off your will, so be it. I don’t want to see you again.”
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The following few weeks were the most challenging days for Iris. She underwent heart surgery and was released from the hospital after a long recovery period.
She felt very lonely and even tried calling Eliza. But her daughter never answered, and Iris was heartbroken. She called her every day and sent her text messages.
Iris wasn’t surprised when there was no reply. But one day, her doorbell rang. When Iris opened the door, she froze in disbelief.
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“Eliza?!” Iris teared up as a wave of emotions washed over her. “Sweetie…”
Iris stopped talking when Eliza looked at her with red, puffy eyes.
“It’s Daniel, isn’t it?” She wrapped her arms around Eliza’s shoulders and led her inside.
“I’m sorry, Mom…I should’ve listened to you,” Eliza sobbed. “You were right!”
Iris hugged Eliza. She hated seeing her daughter so heartbroken but was glad she was finally free from that money-grubber, Daniel.
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Tell us what you think about this story, and share it with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
Ally bursts into the church and interrupts the bride, who is about to finish saying her wedding vow. Ally introduces herself as the groom’s ex-girlfriend and accuses him of being a con man.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
The 7 Funniest Jokes About Husbands and Wives That Every Couple Can Relate To
Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
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