Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around

A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.

Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.

Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.

Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.

Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.

A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”

Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.

While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?

Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”

With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.

There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).

A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.

Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.

Bless!

Queen Camilla’s ex-husband secretly finds love with TV host at 84 – and you might recognize her

According to sources, Andrew Parker-Bowles, the ex-husband of Queen Camilla, is well on his way to rediscovering love with a face that most people in the UK are familiar with.

It has been reported that the 84-year-old former Royal Horse Guards officer is seeing 79-year-old TV broadcaster and actress Anne Robinson, 14 years after the death of his second wife, Rosemary Dickinson, in 2010.

Naturally, Parker-Bowles’s first marriage—a 22-year union with Camilla, who is currently the wife of Charles, the King of England—is arguably the most well-known.

A year before the former married Rosemary Dickinson, in 1995, Andrew and Camilla got divorced, and in 2005, Camilla famously got married to Prince Charles.

It was commonly known that during his marriage to Camilla, Andrew had several extramarital encounters, some of which he had with people she regarded as friends.

Following the death of his second wife, Rosemary, Andrew’s love life has mainly flown beneath the radar until recently. 2023 saw a lot of reports implying that he was dating TV host Anne Robinson; Robinson now seems to have verified the rumors.

The journalist responded to the topic of whether or not she was romantically engaged with Camilla’s ex-husband with her customary snappiness in an open interview.

Indeed. Complete halt. “Take care of yourself,” disclosed the former host of Weakest Link.

Retired Army Brigadier Andrew and Anne reportedly reside in England’s Cotswolds. The two are claimed to have first connected over a lunch with mutual acquaintances last year, but they have mainly managed to keep their developing connection quiet since then.

Regarding Anne, the 78-year-old has been without a partner for approximately 17 years after divorcing her previous spouse, John Penrose, in 2007.

“I’d say that like everything else I’ve done, it’s always worth the risk,” she remarked of her romance with Andrew. “I really believe that taking chances might surprise you. both in a personal and professional capacity.

In fact, the majority of internet comments appear to be supportive, with people expressing gratitude that Andrew and Anne discovered one other later in life.

“We need more love stories like this, 8479,” one Facebook commenter said.

Another individual commented, “She looks better than his ex-wife and hopefully has a better personality.”

“It’s obvious he has a type,” a third individual joked.

Camilla and Charles, meanwhile, recently flew out to Aberdeen, Scotland to mark their 19th wedding anniversary. The couple was pictured in photos taken at Aberdeen Airport last month after taking a plane from London.

After the shocking news of her husband’s cancer diagnosis, Queen Camilla has been a rock for him. Her popularity among the British public has also increased since the difficult beginning of her royal career following the loss of the cherished Princess Diana.

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