My Husband Tried to ‘Fix’ Me with a New Schedule—My Epic Response Left Him Speechless

I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.

I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.

Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.

I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.

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Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.

He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”

He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”

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I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.

I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.

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“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.

“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”

“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.

“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”

I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.

“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”

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He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.

The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.

I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.

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Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.

I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.

There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”

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By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”

I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.

“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”

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Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”

He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”

I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”

His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”

“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”

Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.

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“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”

“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”

There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”

I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”

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Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”

We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.

Benefits of Placing Your Mobile Face Down on a Table

The Benefits of Placing Your Mobile Phone Face Down

The orientation of your mobile phone when placed on a table may seem trivial, but it can significantly impact both the device and the user. Opting to position your phone face down when not in use offers several advantages:

1. Prevents Dust and Liquid from Damaging the Screen

Placing your phone with the screen facing up increases the likelihood of dust accumulating and adhering to the display. When cleaning, coarse dust particles may inadvertently scratch the screen or tempered glass.

Additionally, accidental spills or food particles can come into contact with the screen, potentially affecting its clarity and responsiveness. By keeping the phone face down, you reduce exposure to these risks and help maintain the display’s longevity.

2. Protects the Camera Lens from Scratches

Many modern smartphones feature protruding rear camera lenses, such as those on the iPhone 14 Pro Max. Placing the phone face up exposes the camera lenses to direct contact with the surface, increasing the risk of scratches. Scratched lenses can significantly degrade photo and video quality, affecting the overall user experience.

Some may worry about potential screen scratches when placing the phone face down. However, most smartphones today are equipped with anti-scratch coatings or tempered glass protection, minimizing this concern. In case of minor scratches, replacing the screen protector is relatively simple, whereas repairing a damaged camera lens can be more complex and costly.

To further protect your device, ensure that the table surface is clean and free from rough particles before placing your phone face down.

3. Enhances Privacy and Security

Leaving your phone face up can expose personal notifications and messages to anyone nearby. This may lead to unintended privacy breaches, especially when receiving sensitive information, such as financial alerts or confidential messages.

By placing the phone face down, you prevent others from seeing incoming notifications, thereby maintaining your privacy and security.

4. Reduces Distractions and Enhances Focus

A constantly lit screen with incoming notifications can be highly distracting, especially during work or study sessions. While notifications are useful, they can disrupt concentration and productivity.

Positioning the phone face down helps reduce distractions, allowing for better focus on tasks at hand. Alternatively, enabling Do Not Disturb mode or silencing notifications can further enhance concentration.

5. Minimizes Screen Damage in Your Pocket

When carrying your phone in a pocket, placing it face down can help prevent accidental screen damage caused by contact with keys, coins, or rough surfaces. Additionally, it reduces direct exposure to battery heat, which may cause discomfort or skin irritation.

Conclusion

Keeping your phone face down when not in use provides multiple benefits, from protecting the screen and camera to enhancing privacy and focus. Next time you set your phone down, consider flipping it over—it’s a simple habit that can make a significant difference.

If you found this information helpful, feel free to share it with friends and family!

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