Parenting isn’t just a full-time job, it’s also often a comedy special you didn’t sign up for. From grocery store tantrums to kids with snappy comebacks, these hilarious moments prove kids and their parents are the ultimate jokesters!
The Case of the Missing Ladle
John, a well-to-do bachelor, invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the meal, the mum couldn’t help but notice how attractive her son’s housekeeper was and wondered if there was more going on than meets the eye.
A housekeeper | Source: Pexels
John sensing what his mother was thinking said to her: “I know what you’re thinking, mum, but I assure you my relationship with the housekeeper is purely professional.”
A week later, the housekeeper told John that ever since his mother’s visit a silver gravy ladle has been missing. John sent his mother a note that said: “Mom, I’m not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you didn’t, but the fact remains one has been missing since you were here.”
A gravy ladle | Source: Midjourney
A few days later he receives a note from his mother. “I’m not saying you’re involved with your housekeeper, and I’m not saying you’re not. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would’ve found the ladle by now.”
Mom’s Final Resting Place
A 97-year-old woman sits down with her attorney to discuss her last wishes.
An attorney in his office | Source: Pexels
“I have two requests before I die,” she begins. “First, I want to be cremated.”
The attorney nods respectfully. “Of course, I can arrange that.”
The woman continues, “And second, I’d like my ashes to be scattered over the roof of the Walmart down the road.”
A convenience store | Source: Pexels
The attorney blinks in surprise. “Walmart? Why Walmart?”
The old woman chuckles. “Because that way, I know my daughters will come to see me at least twice a week!”
The Birds, the Bees, and the Backfire
A mom calls her young daughter into the kitchen for “The Talk.”
A mother cooking with her daughter | Source: Pexels
Clearing her throat, she says, “Sweetie, I think it’s time we discussed… you know… sex.”
The daughter smirks and replies, “Alright, Mom! So, what have you heard so far?”
The Whisper Lesson
One evening, a little boy runs into the living room full of guests and shouts, “MOM! I GOTTA PEE!”
A boy shouting | Source: Pexels
Embarrassed, his mom pulls him aside and says, “Sweetie, we don’t say that. Instead, just say you need to whisper if you have to go to the bathroom.”
The next night, he tries it out. “Mom, I need to whisper,” he says quietly, and she takes him to the bathroom, proud of his new manners.
Later, he finds his dad watching TV and says, “Dad, I need to whisper.”
A boy talking to his father | Source: Midjourney
Without looking away from the screen, his dad grins and says, “Alright, buddy — whisper in my ear.”
Secrets Unlocked
A little girl sits in the backseat as her mom drives her to a playdate. Out of the blue, the girl asks, “Mommy, how old are you?”
Her mom sighs and says, “Sweetie, that’s not a polite question to ask someone.”
A serious woman driving | Source: Pexels
The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, “Okay, how much do you weigh?”
Annoyed, the mom responds, “That’s none of your business.”
Not giving up, the little girl asks, “Well, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
The mom, now clearly frustrated, snaps, “That’s enough! Stop asking so many personal questions!”
An angry woman driving | Source: Midjourney
Later that day, the little girl is telling her friend about the conversation. Her friend then tells her, “Just go and look at her driving license! It’s like a report card.”
The next day, the girl proudly announces to her mother, “I figured out everything about you, Mommy! I looked at your driver’s license. You’re 35, weigh 145 pounds, and you and Daddy got a divorce because you got an ‘F’ in sex!”
A smiling little girl | Source: Pexels
God Will Provide… Apparently
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother suggests that her father get to know the young man better, so the father invites him to his study for a drink.
The father begins, “So, what are your plans for the future?”
A family dinner | Source: Pexels
The fiancé replies confidently, “I’m a scholar, sir.”
The father nods, then asks, “That’s admirable, but how will you provide a nice home for my daughter?”
The fiancé smiles. “I will study hard, sir, and God will provide.”
“And what about a beautiful engagement ring?” the father presses.
An engagement ring | Source: Pexels
“I will focus on my studies, and God will provide,” the fiancé repeats.
The father narrows his eyes. “And children? How will you support them?”
“Don’t worry, sir. God will provide.”
Later, the mother asks her husband how the conversation went.
A mature couple talking | Source: Pexels
He sighs and says, “The boy has no job, no plans, and worst of all, he thinks I’m God.”
Missy’s Grocery Store Adventure
A man notices a woman with a three-year-old in her shopping cart.
In the cookie aisle, the little girl screams for cookies. The mom calmly says, “Now, Missy, we’re almost done. Don’t make a fuss.”
A woman with a child in a store | Source: Pexels
In the candy section, the girl starts whining. The mom replies gently, “There, there, Missy. Just two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.”
At the checkout line, the girl howls for gum. The mom reassures, “Missy, we’ll be home soon for a bottle and a nap.”
Impressed by her patience, the man compliments her in the parking lot. “I admire how calm you stayed with little Missy,” he says.
A man talking to a woman in a store | Source: Midjourney
The woman smiles tiredly. “Oh, no, my daughter’s name is Francine. I’m Missy.”
Family Secrets Unveiled
A son excitedly tells his dad, “Dad, I’m getting married!”
The dad smiles. “That’s great news! Who’s the lucky girl?”
“It’s Sally, the girl next door!” the son replies.
A happy smiling man | Source: Pexels
The dad’s face falls. “Son, I need to tell you something. Years ago, I made a mistake… Sally is your sister.”
Shocked, the son says, “Okay, then I’ll marry Katie, my old high school friend.”
The dad shakes his head. “I’m sorry, son, but Katie is also your sister.”
A smiling mature man | Source: Pexels
Frustrated, the son storms into the kitchen, where his mom is sitting. Having overheard the commotion, she looks up and says, “Marry whoever you want, dear! He’s not your real father anyway!”
Mom Always Knows
A young man says to his mom, “Mom, tonight I’m bringing over three girls. One of them is the one I want to marry. Let’s see if you can figure out which one it is.”
A man talking on his phone | Source: Pexels
That evening, the three girls come over for dinner. After they leave, the son asks, “So, Mom, which one do you think it is?”
Without hesitation, she replies, “It’s the one who sat in the middle.”
Amazed, he asks, “Wow, you’re right! How did you know?”
An excited smiling man | Source: Pexels
She smirks and says, “Because she’s already annoying me.”
Counting Lessons
A kid comes home from school with a black eye. His mom gasps and says, “Didn’t I tell you to be smart and count to a hundred before getting into a fight?”
The kid sighs and replies, “I did, Mom! But while I was counting to a hundred like you said, Billy punched me in the face. His parents only told him to count to fifty!”
A smiling small boy | Source: Pexels
Pantry Predicament
Mom says, “Tom, this morning I left two pieces of cake in the pantry, and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?”
Tom replies, “Well, Mom, it was really dark in there… I didn’t see the second piece!”
A chocolate cake | Source: Pexels
Parenting Logic
My 8-year-old was fighting with her sisters, so I asked, “All right, who started it?”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “You did — when you decided to have so many kids.”
An angry young girl | Source: Pexels
If you liked this, here’s some more jokes to tickle you blue:
7 Jokes with the Most Unexpected Plot Twists
Laughter is the best way to brighten your day, and we’ve got seven hilarious jokes that are sure to do just that! From marriage counseling gone wrong to jaw-dropping family secrets, these stories will have you laughing out loud. Get ready for a fun ride full of surprises!
Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Whether you’ve had a rough day or just need a little pick-me-up, we’ve got you covered.
A group of friends laughing | Source: Pexels
These jokes are guaranteed to brighten your mood. From husbands with some wild misunderstandings to surprising family twists, there’s something here for everyone.
Ready? Let’s dive into the fun!
Marriage Counseling with a Twist
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife sit in front of a therapist. The wife starts in on a long list of grievances: “He doesn’t listen to me, he’s distant, we haven’t been close in ages. I feel neglected, lonely, unloved…”
A couple in therapy | Source: Pexels
She keeps going and going, pouring out years of frustration. Finally, the therapist stands up, walks around his desk, and approaches the wife.
He asks her to stand and proceeds to lean in and give her a long, passionate kiss. The husband looks on in surprise, and the wife? She’s left completely speechless by the intensity of their therapist’s kiss.
A shocked woman | Source: Pexels
The therapist turns to the husband and says, “Your wife needs this at least three times a week if you’re serious about saving your marriage. Can you manage that?”
Wanna read the rest of the joke?
20+ Things That Could Even Puzzle Sherlock Holmes
Once in a while, we come across things in our household that we can’t identify. If this happens to you, just know that you can ask the experts on Reddit. Here, people from all around the world share their knowledge and help figure out the purpose behind some really mysterious things.
Now I’ve Seen Everything can now say we haven’t really seen everything and here are some mysteries the internet managed to solve!
1. “Part with spokes rotates, spokes (of different diameters) match up to hole in the opposite side of the tool. Sharpie marker for size.”
Answer: It is for punching holes in leather or similar things. Like, for a belt.
2. “This little plastic basket/holder inside the far corner of a trolley — I asked the supermarket staff, they had no idea.”
Answer: It’s a bitz box (a place for small items, like pens, batteries, etc.).
3. “I know it’s a chair, but what’s with the extended arms?”
Answer: It looks like a plantation/planter chair. You’d put your sore, swollen legs up on the arms after sitting on a horse all day, like a pregnant woman with her legs up in the same fashion. This is why the back is so sloped as well. If you sat up straight it wouldn’t be comfortable to put your legs up like that, but in a reclined position, it’s good for blood flow and airflow.
4. “Small, light blue, rubber capsule with a tear-off end.”
Answer: It’s a cosmetics serum capsule.
5. “My coworker saw this toilet in the women’s restroom at the Huntsville Space Center. Why is it shaped this way?”
Answer: It is a woman’s urinal. It encourages women to urinate from a standing position without the need to sit on a shared seat.
6. “I’m waiting for the bank to open and they have this card facing the street. What is it used for?”
Answer: It’s definitely a safety signal. We switch ours quarterly and it’s to let other employees know that it is all clear to open. Typically we had 2 employees “open” the branch while the rest waited in the parking lot or across the street for “all clear.” The openers go in, turn off the alarm, search the building, and check everything, then set the signal.
7. “In the middle of the wall in my 1906 house”
Answer: It’s a capped-off gas line from when they used gaslighting.
8. “Found this in Guam in shallow water, 3 meters in diameter. Never seen anything like it.”
Answer: This is absolutely a rocket part.
9. “Opposite of hole-y: what is this not-really-spiky kitchen spoon for?”
Answer: It’s a spaghetti server.
10. “What is the S-shaped metal ornament on this house?”
Answer: It’s an anchor plate or wall washer. It’s meant to keep masonry in place and made aesthetically pleasing because they’re visible. There is a bolt going on the other side, in the center, holding the bricks in place.
11. “What is this piece of seemingly old tech? Found in a pile at a university.”
Answer: That’s a very old wearable computer.
12. “My house (built in the mid ’70s) has one of these in almost every room.”
Answer: The 3-prong ones were for TV and FM antennas, and the center one was for an antenna rotator to get better reception.
13. “This is an on-gate blocking road access to some cell towers. Why so many locks and how would someone even open it?”
Answer: You can open the gate by unlocking only one padlock. The way it’s designed means that multiple people can use the gate, and if one person loses their keys, only their padlock needs to be replaced. As opposed to one padlock with many keys, you’d need to give tons of people the new key.
14. “What are these shredded balls on my property?”
Answer: Juniper-hawthorn rust — it’s a fungal disease. It starts as a gall then the tentacles appear around spring or after rain. It probably won’t kill this tree but it can seriously mess up secondary host apple trees. The only way to get rid of it is to prune then burn the removed branches. Don’t forget to disinfect your tools after.
15. “A cast iron circle with raised edges and a zero”
Answer: I think it’s a support for an old waffle maker.
16. “I found this while cleaning out an old cedar closet. Had a bendy spring in the middle. Looks like it hangs on a door?”
Answer: I think it’s a vintage hat display stand. If you Google it, there are a lot that have the springy bit and the pull cord (it probably lets you pull the hat down and to the sides to examine it rather than touching the hat itself). Yours seems to be held by sliding onto a table edge rather than sitting on the table itself. So you’re holding it sideways.
17. “What is this stuff growing out of the nail holes in my ceiling?”
Answer: That’s termite frass. You’ve got bad termites and you’ll want to deal with it ASAP.
18. “I just bought a house and this weird triangle holder thing is by my kitchen sink. What is it?”
Answer: It’s a dishtowel holder. Take the corner of your dishtowel and put it to the back of the triangle, then pull down on the towel and it’s held in place.
19. “Found this buried in the garden, very tough glass.”
Answer: My father repaired TVs for decades. I can confirm this one is the glass back.
20. “I bought these at a thrift store. Thought it was a bar spoon but I’m not certain.”
/
Answer: They’re ice cream spoons.
21. “I found this in our kitchen drawer when I moved in, none of my roommates have any idea. What is this thing?”
Answer: It’s a part of a tea infuser.
22. “Found these when clearing out my dad’s wardrobe. Any idea what you’d hang on them?”
23. “It is made of steel/iron and is heavier than it looks. We’re not sure if it’s a tool or some type of kitchenware.”
Answer: Apparently it’s a meat tenderizer.
24. “Delicate wooden whisk type thing that fits into a small vase item with openings on both ends. What is it? I’m so curious!”
Answer: It’s a matcha whisk and whisk holder.
Which one of these did you instantly know the purpose of? Do you have any mysterious things around your house that you can’t figure out? Share them with us and let’s solve the mystery together!
Preview photo credit MamaBearsApron / reddit
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