We’re gathered here today to celebrate… outrageous wedding demands! From pay-per-slice cake to gift lists that rival Christmas, you’ll be grateful your invite got ‘lost.’ Get ready to laugh (and cry) as we dive into 10 weddings where the vows come with a price tag!
Weddings: a time of love, joy, and… complete insanity? You bet! We’ve rounded up 10 tales of nuptial nonsense that’ll make you laugh, cringe, and maybe reconsider that destination wedding. From cash-grabbing cousins to hair-raising drama, these stories prove that some folks take “bridezilla” to a whole new level. So sit back, grab some popcorn, and prepare to witness the train wrecks of matrimonial madness!
A surprised bride | Source: Midjourney
1. Vegas, Baby! And Don’t Forget to Bring a Gift You’ll Never See in Action
My cousin Susy’s wedding was a masterclass in audacity. First, she sent out save-the-dates. Then… crickets. Getting antsy, I messaged her about invites.
“Oh, we’re just doing a small Vegas thing now. Money’s tight,” she chirped.
Fair enough, right? Wrong.
Wedding décor | Source: Unsplash
A week later, everyone who didn’t make the cut got a lovely little notice. “We’re off to Vegas! Here’s our registry — gifts only, please!”
The kicker? This chick was my maid of honor, and I’d covered all her expenses.
Did she get me a gift? Nope. Now she wanted me to shell out $500 for a mixer I couldn’t even use to drown my sorrows at her reception. Hard pass, cuz. Vegas, baby… without your overpriced kitchen gadgets!
‘Just Married’ sign on vintage car | Source: Pexels
2. When Your Maid of Honor’s Dress Costs More Than Your Wedding… Oops!
My wedding was a shoestring affair. We’re talking $80 dress, $30 for my maid of honor’s gown. But my dear friend decided her frock needed some TLC.
“Sure,” I said, picturing a nip here, a tuck there.
Turns out, she went full Project Runway, racking up $100 in alterations! Her dress now cost more than my entire bridal ensemble. But wait, there’s more! Shoe shopping rolled around.
Wedding accessories on a table | Source: Pexels
“I’ll spot you,” I offered when she came up short. She picked some pricey kicks, but hey, her dime, right? Wrong again.
When I asked for repayment, she hit me with, “Oh, I thought you were treating! I’d have chosen cheaper ones if I knew!”
My bank account wept silently as I realized generosity and wedding planning don’t always mix.
An upset bride | Source: Midjourney
3. The Wedding Where Half the Guests Got Sheet Cake and the Other Half Got… Everything Else!
Imagine throwing a wedding with a VIP section. That’s exactly what my “friends” did.
They cooked up a two-tier guest system that’d make a nightclub bouncer blush.
Tier 1? The chosen few. Fancy wristbands, full banquet access, and an open bar. Living large!
Tier 2? The unwashed masses. We got to watch the ceremony, then twiddle our thumbs until the reception’s leftovers. Cash bar only, peasants!
Wedding menu on a table | Source: Unsplash
Oh, and don’t forget the cake — fancy fondant for the elites, grocery store sheet cake for the rest of us.
The pièce de résistance? A “sponsor our honeymoon” donation box, because nothing says “We value your presence” like begging for vacation cash after treating half your guests like second-class citizens.
Layered strawberry sheet cake slices on two plates | Source: Unsplash
4. Cash-Only Wedding: Because Who Needs Love When You’ve Got Venmo?
Picture this: a couple so hellbent on a fairytale church wedding that they turned into medieval tax collectors. Instead of a registry, they demanded COLD, HARD CASH. Yep!
And we’re not talking “slip a $20 in a card” money. These folks wanted enough to make your accountant sweat.
A bride and groom holding a balloon | Source: Unsplash
Unsurprisingly, the guest list started shrinking faster than a wool sweater in hot water.
But here’s the real kicker! All that dough couldn’t buy them happiness. They didn’t even make it to their first anniversary.
Turns out, you can’t build a lasting marriage on a foundation of tulle and empty wallets. Who knew?
A bride and groom holding hands | Source: Unsplash
5. No Pics, Please! How My MIL Tried to Censor Our Wedding for Family Privacy
My MIL Daisy had some… interesting requests for our wedding.
Picture this: we’re at my final dress fitting, and she drops this gem: “Don’t post any pictures on social media. I don’t want my family to see.”
Um, what? We’d already downsized from a big shindig to a woodsy elopement (with a promise of a church do-over later). Now she’s trying to censor our memories?
A demanding older woman pointing a finger | Source: Midjourney
I bit my tongue so hard I nearly needed stitches. Finally, I mustered up my best “bless your heart” voice and said, “Daisy, darling, this is our day. Those pictures are going up faster than you can say ‘I object.’”
My fiancé backed me up, and Daisy miraculously found her chill. The wedding was perfect, and you bet your bottom dollar those pics hit Facebook before the cake was cut!
A happy bride smiling at her groom | Source: Midjourney
6. Bad Hair Day Turns into a Soap Opera Slapfest at My Sister’s Wedding
Meet Linda, my half-sister and wannabe hair dictator. For her wedding, she demanded all bridesmaids sport identical ‘dos.
Never mind that we had a veritable sampler platter of hair types and lengths. Oh, and did I mention the crack-of-dawn appointment at some ritzy, far-flung salon?
Mom, bless her, booked me at a nearby budget place instead. Cue the rehearsal dinner drama. Linda and Mom went at it like two cats in a sack. Next thing I know, I’m booted from the bridal party faster than you can say “bad perm.”
But wait, there’s more!
An extremely furious bride | Source: Midjourney
Linda’s mom decided to play bouncer, trying to kick Mom and me out of dinner. When Mom stood her ground, SLAP! Yep, Linda’s mom went full soap opera on my mother’s face.
Needless to say, Dad and Bro bailed on the big day, along with most of our side. All this over some up-dos. Talk about a bad hair day!
A startled senior woman looking at another lady | Source: Midjourney
7. Destination Wedding Disaster: When the Hotel Bill Costs More Than the Wedding Itself
Buckle up, folks, ’cause Roger and I are on a wild ride to Wedding Wonderland. Our pals can’t seem to nail down a single detail, but boy, do they have demands!
First, it was a tropical getaway. “We don’t want to exclude anyone,” they said while planning a bash more remote than a desert island. “Oops, military duty calls!” Scratch that. Now we’re headed interstate, but don’t worry, it’ll still cost an arm and a leg!
A cheerful newlywed couple | Source: Unsplash
They insist we all bunk at the same hotel. Slight problem: 100 guests, 10 rooms, and a nightly rate that’d make a rockstar blush. Roger and I are about ready to elope ourselves just to escape this circus. At this rate, we’ll be living on ramen for a year just to afford their “special day.”
Here’s hoping their next bright idea doesn’t involve us selling a kidney!
A shocked woman holding her face | Source: Midjourney
8. Ahoy, Guests! Please Help Us Buy Our Dream Boat Instead of Toasting the Bride & Groom
Let me introduce you to my buddy’s cousin Jeremy and his blushing bride. These two lovebirds had a dream — a dream of cruising the high seas in style.
So naturally, they decided their wedding was the perfect opportunity to crowdfund their nautical ambitions. Forget toasters and towels, these modern-day pirates wanted cold, hard cash to buy a boat.
Aerial view of boat at sea | Source: Unsplash
But not just any old dinghy would do. Oh no, they had their hearts set on a brand-spanking-new Mastercraft. Because nothing says “till death do us part” like asking your guests to shell out for a luxury watercraft.
I hear the S.S. Entitlement is lovely this time of year!
Grayscale of a bride and groom walking together | Source: Unsplash
9. $1,000 Entry Fee to Goldilocks’ Wedding… Because Love Ain’t Cheap!
Imagine my surprise when I opened a wedding invite that came with a price tag.
My acquaintance, let’s call her “Goldilocks,” had a very specific vision for her big day. And by vision, I mean a minimum cash gift of $1,000 per guest.
Anything less, she declared, “wouldn’t make a difference.” Oh, but it gets better.
Close-up shot of a smiling bride | Source: Unsplash
We were instructed to label our gifts AND envelopes, lest our generous contributions go unnoticed. Heaven forbid she thank the wrong person for bankrolling her extravaganza!
I’m still trying to decide which is more breathtaking: her audacity or her math skills. Maybe I’ll send her a lovely “thank you” card for teaching me the true meaning of “gold digger!”
A ‘thank you’ card | Source: Pexels
10. Welcome to the Wedding with Admission Fees — Get Ready to Pay for Every Slice of Cake
Hold onto your hats, folks, because this one takes the wedding cake.
Picture this: you receive a save-the-date that looks suspiciously like an itemized bill. That’s right, these creative lovebirds decided to charge admission to their “destination” nuptials.
Close-up of a bride and groom holding hands | Source: Unsplash
As if jet-setting to Nowheresville wasn’t pricey enough, we now had the privilege of paying for every morsel and moment of their big day. But wait, there’s more!
Turns out, the father of the bride was the maestro behind this matrimonial money grab. Shockingly, the wedding was a disaster. Who could’ve seen that coming? I hear they’re planning a vow renewal. P.S. I’ll be busy washing my hair that decade.
A distressed bride | Source: Midjourney
There you have it, folks, ten tales of wedding day wackiness that’ll make you appreciate eloping. Got your own story of nuptial nonsense? Drop it in the comments!
Grayscale wedding décor | Source: Unsplash
Liked this compilation of hilarious wedding disasters? Then you might like this one about the most unexpected plot twists that will have you laughing out loud.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Father Who Was Covered In Tattoos Shares His Shocking Transformation Story After Painful Surgeries to Remove Them
Older generations used to warn that people shouldn’t get tattoos because they’re permanent and someone may one day regret getting them. However, these days tattoo removal is an option. Although painful, it works after a few sessions but can leave behind some scarring. Either way, 35-year-old Leandro De Souza has decided to undergo laser treatments to remove almost 2 decades worth of ink.
Leandro De Souza is a native of Brazil and a proud father. However, his divorce almost a decade ago proved to be almost more than he could handle. As a result, De Souza went down a path of partying. During this time he accumulated more than 170 tattoos but his first ink was at just 13 years old. “I did the first one when I was 13,” De Souza explained. “The first ones were very much about the idolatry of the time.” However, he’s recently set out on a religious path of Evangelicalism. As a result, he’s decided to undergo the laser tattoo removal process.
Facing Heartbreak
Leandro’s first tattoos were inspired by his favorite bands, such as Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses, and Metallica. However, the majority of his tattoos were from a decade-long binge following his divorce. During that time, Leandro admittedly experimented with drugs like LSD, alcohol, and ecstasy.
Finding Motivation for Tattoo Removal
“I couldn’t stand the life I was living anymore. I was an attraction at (events I attended) and it felt like a circus animal.” He said regarding his decision for tattoo removal. De Souza was visiting a shelter almost a decade after his difficult divorce. This visit would change the course of his life. “The first step in everything in life is to accept that you can’t do it alone, that you are an addict, that you are a drug addict,” de Souza said. “And I managed to do that, I entered the municipal shelter in Bagé. Within a week, there was a lady who referred me and started to evangelize me.“
Turning a New Leaf
It’s been 2 years since De Souza changed his life and opted for tattoo removal. However, it’s a long process that will be more so for De Souza’s 170 tattoos. Moreover, he now spends his time speaking with “parents and children in homes that are in prisons.”
Leandro began the tattoo removal process with the help of a tattoo studio in Franco da Rocha, São Paulo, which heard about the exciting changes Leandro was making to turn his life around. He’s now been clean from alcohol for 3 years, and free of tobacco and other substances for a year. De Souza still has 6 more tattoo removal sessions before his ink is gone and his transformation, so far, is astonishing and awe-inspiring.
Tattoo Removal is a Modern Possibility
For many, getting a tattoo is inspired by the desire to express one’s creativity, treating their body like a canvas. However, others may regret their ink choices as they mature or their interests and relationship status change. Fortunately, tattoo removal is possible with advancing technology but there are a few side effects like tenderness, skin irritability, and even scarring.
Tattoo Removal Methods
Interestingly, tattoo removal comes with options. De Souza’s treatment, laser tattoo removal, uses lasers to “heat the ink particles,” breaking them down and making it “easier for your immune system to remove,” according to Cleveland Clinic. Laser tattoo removal sessions are scheduled about 3 months apart and can last anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour depending on the size of the ink. This method does come with side effects that range from mild skin irritation to painful blisters, but each person responds differently to treatment.
Skin Removal for Tattoo Removal
Another option for tattoo removal is surgical excision. The medical procedure requires a surgeon, who will “cut out the skin that contains a tattoo.” Then they will “stitch your remaining skin together.” The procedure probably sounds intimidating but it’s only used for small tattoos, as cutting an entire back tattoo and then stitching it up would be unpleasant, dangerous, and seemingly impossible.
Meanwhile, dermabrasion and chemical peels are used to remove the outer layers of skin. Unfortunately, both can cause severe skin sensitivity, especially in sunlight. Therefore, understanding the risks and how to treat the skin properly as it heals is essential to your skin’s health and physical comfort.
Not Recommended by Professionals
Lastly, and possibly least popular and effective, are tattoo removal creams. They can be used at home and often take months or years to yield results. Furthermore, they contain acids that “irritate or damage your skin.” As such, they’re usually advised against by medical professionals.
Can Anyone Get Tattoo Removal
In short, yes. However, some things are worth noting when considering tattoo removal. Firstly, tattoo removal takes time and similar or repetitive steps to be effective, regardless of your chosen tattoo removal method. The reason for this is that a tattoo artist applies ink in layers of the skin, so layers have to be broken down which can’t happen in one sitting, otherwise you’ll suffer severe and irreversible skin damage. Ultimately, that would put your overall health and immunity at risk. Additionally, your skin needs time between sessions to “flush out the ink” so, it’s recommended to wait a few weeks or months between most tattoo removal options listed above.
Secondly, certain ink colors are easier to remove than others. For example, blue and black are easy to remove during laser tattoo removal because “they’re better at absorbing light.” Meanwhile, colors like red are difficult to remove because their “molecular composition” is more resistant to the treatment options.
An Alternative
Consider having them turned into something else, rather than removed. For instance, if you’re considering tattoo removal and the reason has nothing to do with necessity, for work, or because, like De Souza, you’re on a new path. Instead, you don’t like how it looks anymore, have separated from the person who inspired the tattoo, or have other interests. In this case, you might consider another visit to the tattoo shop to have them create something else by covering the existing tattoo. For many, this option may be more satisfying and less time-consuming.
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